Jokes

You Know You've Been In the Martial Arts Too Long When ..................

You say to the shop assistant, "Nice trousers, but I don't think I can kick in them."

You go to the shoe shop to try on shoes and instead of walking round the shop, you practice stances and kicks.

You hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and _damage_ it.

You always put the left side of the bathrobe over the right and knot the belt like your obi

You're practicing your arm techniques while driving down the motorway, notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.

You use various strikes and kicks to turn lights off and on.

You open and close doors with spinning kicks.

You still haven't gotten used to recognising everybody walking around in their normal clothes, in town

You find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings and school classes.

You try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it.

You notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets. But feet turned out and hands by your side.

You tend to keep at least one martial arts weapon close at hand by your bed when you sleep.

You have the urge to bow every time you enter or leave a room or school hall.

You accidentally call your teacher 'Sensei'.

You find yourself practicing stances while standing in a queue

You don't use any tools while cutting up wood.

You are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.

You see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of hard concentration.

You say 'Oss' by mistake when you meant to say 'yes' in an interview

You no longer care about pain

You react to someone coming at you (most likely a friend) and mistakenly do a take-down, and realise afterward that you made a mistake

You count in Japanese instead of English at work or to your children

You can't hold you girlfriends hand without putting her in a wrist lock.

You do horse riding stance over the toilet bowl.

When you try to walk into a room without anyone hearing you

You don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend left to practice your moves on

You leave the front door unlocked hoping someone or something will brake in

When a snack gets stuck in the vending machine, you place your hand on the machine, breath deeply, and use your ki to try and get the food out.

When every time you wash the car you turn into Daniel son from the Karate Kid and start to "wax on" and "wax off".



 


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Direct the karate student through the maze to the Kodokan for his lesson.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Karate Quotes and Philosophies


* When you begin martial arts you see the colors. When you end martial arts you see the light?

 

* There's an old tale of a boy who watches a samurai practicing sword kata. The boy compliments the samurai, and he in turn offers to teach the boy. The boy, however, instead says "teach me where I can find your teacher"!

 

* To fight with your hands and win, no matter how many people you fight, does not mean you are a good fighter. To fight with your mind and win means you are a good fighter..

 

* Do not fear pain, for as long as you feel it you know you are still alive

 

* Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself

 

 

Karate Riddles


* Two Japanese are sitting in the park. One of them is father to the other ones son. What relation are they?* Two karateka were in a karate fight. One was a black belt and one was a red belt. Eventually, one of them lost & the other won, but no man fell and no man scored a point. How is this possible?

 

 

 

 

 

 

White Belt Instructors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I thought it'd be pretty crazy to search through some photos of Sensei Sarah and Sensei George when they first started karate, because I know that you're so interested in seeing what they used to look like as white belts.

 

 

Sensei Sarah Aged 9 in Dec 1990 .......Sensei George Aged ? April 1992

© 2010 by ZOKU Shotokan Karate.
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